New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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