Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
