brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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