Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
