So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
