I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
