I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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