He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
