that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
