drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
