5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize