wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
