Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
