Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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