his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
