I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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