I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
