brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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