I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
