You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
