i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
