OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
