The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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