y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
