I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize