So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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