The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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