Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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