Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
how does that bad decision feel?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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