I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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