I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
