thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
third nipple confirmed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
