I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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