Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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