I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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