If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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