On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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