i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i came on her dog
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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