So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
