Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
