I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
