all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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