ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he thought i was a dude.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
