oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
