i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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