So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
