I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
