so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
