So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
