I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
