Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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