I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
