need another drink. this is the easiest way
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
