I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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