I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
