He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
