they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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