It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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