You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
