going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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