we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
