i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
