I wanna bring you to show and tell
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
