You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
