Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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