I will die if light touches me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
