I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize