I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
